Five Days
by Suededonym
Summary: Q: How long does it take for Carlton Lassiter to completely lose his mind? A: Five days. As proven by Shawn General Drabble.


'Five Days' or 'A Decent Into Madness'

For those of you who read 'Five Minutes' (and for those that didn't) I present to you more pointless Lassiter Antagonizing!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but a purse that happens to be bigger on the inside than on the outside. Neither Psych or the characters I use here are mine.

WARNINGS: No spoilers, nothing scary or sweary.

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Q: How long does it take for Carlton Lassiter to completely lose his mind?

A: Five days. (As proven by Shawn) 

DAY ONE: 

The first one showed up on his computer screen. Lassiter ignored it almost entirely, giving it just enough notice to click 'Delete'. But this was important, because it was only the first of many.

The second one came the same day, attached to an e-mail that was supposed to contain details about the upcoming Department picnic. Instead, there was a second picture much like the first. Lassiter's eye twitched and he clicked 'Delete' again. 

DAY TWO: 

The third one was different in that it wasn't just pixels. It was an honest-to-goodness paper copy. It was tucked in between pages of the report he was supposed to be filling out. Lassiter tossed it in his trashcan without a second thought.

The fourth one was also the third, or rather the fourth time he found one it was actually the third picture again. Somebody must have taken it out of the trash and put it back on his desk. Lassiter was not amused. This time he shredded it.

He found the fifth at lunch. Someone had stuck it to the fridge. Anyone else would have brushed it off as a coincidence, but Carlton Lassiter recognized the captioned photo for what it was: a declaration of war. 

DAY THREE: 

The sixth was on his _pajamas_ for crying out loud! Just a miniature as distinctive, unique and similar as the others. That morning, he rolled out of bed with a purpose.

He dropped a few subtle hints at work, but came up with bupkis. The 'investigation' took up about two hours of his day. Nobody knew anything about the pictures. If they did, they weren't talking.

The seventh was again on his desk. Juliet watched as Lassiter crumpled a paper with an inapropriate ammount of rage on his face.

He tested the eighth for fingerprints. Nothing. The perpetrator was a ghost.

That afternoon was a double whammy. Someone had stuck one of those pictures to his lunch. Another was found in his car. He couldn't help it; he punched out the window.

Chief Vick was not very understanding. 

DAY FOUR 

He dreamed of them. He dreamed he was drowning a an ocean of those stupid pictures. When he woke he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat.

It was understandable, then, that was was so twitchy at work. He had to keep a sharp eye out for whoever might have been leaving The Pictures.

It didn't help that he accused a suspect he was supposed to be interrogating for and _actual_ case.

There were no pictures on the fourth day. It didn't stop his from seeing them every time he closed his eyes. 

DAY FIVE: 

He was a wreak. This had gone on too long.

When he found yet another on his chair, it finally clicked.

Who would do something like this? Who would dare push him to the brink of madness? [i]Who indeed?[/i]

It dawned on him with perfect clarity. Armed with this revelation, he marched to the Chief's office to lay out his case.

Chief Vick was not very understanding.

"Carlton, I understand your concern - _don't you dare yell at me_! - but you have it all wrong. Shawn Spencer has been on leave for the past week. _No,_ Carlton, he has a bad stomach flu. He has not entered this biulding in nearly six days! If you can't get under control, I'm going to have to assign you some vacation time."

His last line severed, Lassiter spent most of the afternoon questioning his sanity. He never recieved another of the pictures again, though his eye would always twitch and his hands would always clench whenever he saw an LOLcat. 

ON THE sixth day, Buzz McNab visited Shawn at his apartment. He brought with him a bowl of homemade chicken noodle soup and news.

"He suspects nothing."

Shawn smiled at his partner in crime, the perfect undercover agent.

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END

Because nobody would supect Buzz. MWAHAHAHA!

I think Shawn would go a little stir crazy if he had to be cooped up for so long, hence the tormenting of Lassiter with LOLcats.

**_bupkis_**.


End file.
